whatthe...

FUCK!
-B.

i'm full of word "RECENT"

i took this from fira's old blog :) seems fun!

-Recent Obsession: Leica ; do some photographs ; blogging ; chitchat everywhere.
-Recent Project: new band ; new bussiness ; success-homework
-Recent Activity: sleeping ; crash the keyboard ; mix max my outfits
-Recent Problem: pimples? ; signal!
-Recent Sad Moment: leaving my hometown ; leaving my boyfriend far far away
-Recent Happy Moment: first monthly anniversary ; watch 3 idiots with my bf
-Recent Blank Moment: doing homework
-Recent Silly Moment: taking pictures of myself when i just woke up ; fail pose
-Recent Embarassing Moment: i... actually really forgot about it
-Recent Phobia: forever and always butterflies ; crabs
-Recent Social Network: blogger ; twitter ; what again?
-Recent Nickname: ratuunyu *whattheheck*
-Recent Movie: 3 idiots ; kambingjantan
-Recent Book: mandarin text book ; history text book ; maths text book
-Recent Music: Baby It's Fact - Hellogoodbye ; Therapy - All Time Low ; Viva La Vida cover by boyce avenue
-Recent Lullaby: Body and Soul by Frank Sinatra
-Recent Boy Crush: Haryo Ramadantyo ; Aamr Khan ; Arya Aditya Ramadhya
-Recent Girl Crush: Katy Perry ; Kareena Kapoor
-Recent Model: Andy Torres
-Recent Designer: Kenley Collins
-Recent Photographer: my boyfriend
-Recent Lyrics: "baby it's fact that our love is true, the way black is black"

oh God. i'm enough with word "RECENT".
-B.

i wish i could wish.

if God give me a chance to make wishes, everything that I want. I'll wish...

• i wish i could spend a whole day long with my family. hang out together. doing things we love.
• i wish i could spend a day with my father. go together to an exhibition, or everything. hang out and hunt some things together. learning photography, traveling whole day long, or everything. it could be sweet, it could be fun. since i never have one.
• i wish i could spend a day with my mother. do shopping without worrying about money. share stories just like with my friend. i wish i could.
• i wish i could spend a day with my girlfriends. do shopping together, hang around together, have some karaoke, play dress up, pajamas party, cook together, fight with nerf. or everything. it would be so much fun.
• i wish i could spend a day with the boys. play in a band, hunt some photographs, travel together, do expedition, or anything. it is fun being with boys, without feeling that... i am a girl.
• i wish i could spend a day with my boyfriend. have a movie marathon a whole day long, sleep under the sky together, do some photographs, be your model or be your photographer either, spend night and day just the two of us. i wish i could.
• i wish i could spend my days with people that i love, do the things that i love. help people, do great things. and last we're gonna smile together and never regret a single things.

you know i love you all.
lovely B.

i think i got headache.

as you can read. with this post, i promise. and i hope:

• i hope my new room isn't full of shitty-things. so i promise to clean my own room and do some DIY projects to make it beautiful. as beautiful as me. *prepare your vomit bag.*
• buy new strap. buy new jack. buy new strings. for my bass.
• i promise to study on my own desk. to do my homework on my own desk. as soon as my parents buy me a lamp.
• i promise i will not..... make my cupboard.... buzzes.

thankyou.
-B.

it's a kingdom of bore. boredom.

hello :)
selamat siang.

urgh so boring here. everyday, whole day long. i just sitting in front of my laptop. hanging around with the keyboard. I REALLY WANNA GO SOMEWHERE! i need fresh air. and fresh fruit juice. and fresh milo. so anybody, please just take me away from here.

and buy me shoes.

and buy me canon D5.

and buy me Leica.

and buy me new outfits.

...

bad daydreamer.

-B.

Minal aidin wal faidzin
Mohon maaf lahir batin untuk semua :)
Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1431 H

Love,
-B.

3 kali sehari. overdosis.

L: lalalabu
U: seorang "user"

kesel ga sih lo kalo sampe 3 kali diginiin dalam sehari via MSN?

U: la la laa sepi sekali laa
L: hm yaa terus?
U: yagapapa
*"POK!" user P off*

kekisahan mudik episode satu

bonjour!
a million apologize to mon cher. sorry love.

I'M IN SRAGEN RIGHT NOW! YEAY!

jadi kali ini gue mau cerita tentang... gatau. mudik ajadeh. jadi tepatnya hari senin kemaren, dengan berat hati gue meninggalkan kota bekasi tercinta. meninggalkan rumah kontrakan dan segala macam isinya. meninggalkan tights merah dan kuning gue. meninggalkan sambungan headset gue. meninggalkan pacar di rawalumbu utara nun jauh disana. meninggalkan kota kelahiran yang gue cintai serta kenangan yang ada didalamnya. lebay.

lalu dan kemudian, perjalanan dimulai. bak dalam kaskus, bokap gue ngacir, layaknya koneksi dewa. sama kok, gue juga gangerti maksudnya apa. berangkat jam 2 siang, jam 4 lewat kita udah mau keluar daerah indramayu. yeah. bapakku cool.

lalu kita transit di tegal, tepatnya balapulang, kota kelahiran bapak. tidak ada kejadian yang berarti selain kepala gue jadi tempat transit kacuak terbang. setelah itu keesokan harinya kemudian, kita sekeluarga ngacir ke sragen. semua dilalui tanpa kemacetan yang berarti. tanpa ngantuk yang berarti. tapi... ada yang kurang... aku kesepian. oh. sedihnya. malangnya nasibku. lebay. untungnya aku membawa RAMA! si kuya. kuya kesayangan gue ini udah gede loh sekarang! tempurungnya juga makin cool. makannya juga makin banyak. kalo tadinya 8 pelet cukup, sekarang 10. si rama ini punya teman hidup satu akuarium, kuya punya adek gue entah siapa namanya. kuya adek gue itu cewek, sementara rama itu cowok. yang gue takutin... gue gatau apakah rama itu straight atau gay, mau gimanapun gue gamau kuya tersayang gue jadi maho. soalnya dia gak kawin kawin sama si cewek teman hidup satu akuarium. malang benar. tapi yasudahlah, jodoh ditangan tuhan. doakan saja semoga langgeng.

sekian dulu kekisahan hari ini. kita jumpa di lain hari.

tu me manques mon cher.
-B.

p.s kacuak itu kecoak. kuya itu kura kura.

Buongiorno !

hello. bonjour. buongiorno. ♥
today i'm gonna leave this town. back to my mom's hometown in SOLO :) i can't wait to get back there, but.. i can't leave him. i just had my first monthly anniversary last Thursday. and i'm fuckin damn yeah happy. thanks honey.
seeing your name in my phone this morning is killing me. i want to spend more time, as long as i can, just with you, just the two of us. but what can i do?
Sleep tight honey, sleep tight.
Sleep like i'll never gonna leave this town.

Only in your heart.
Lovely,
-B.

haryoramadantyow!

here. taken from my diary.

"17 Agustus 2010.

PAGI
Gue rasa bakal terlalu banyak yang harus gue ceritain, gue tumpahin disini. Perasaan campur aduk. Mood bertrampolin. Kalo diibaratkan panci, gue itu... pantatnya. Gue juga bingung apa maksudnya.

Kisah agustus ria diawali waktu rey berubah. Super duper posesif. Bukan yang dulu gue kenal. Sejak saat itu gue berfikir, dan.. istilahnya... sadar dari... KOMA? Apa yang terjadi adalah selama ini gue buta karena cinta yang besar sebelah. Mungkin terlalu berat bahasanya tapi.. that’s it. Saat itu juga gue ketemu haryo. Haryo Ramadantyo. Sempet ga ngira dia bakal sejauh ini masuk ke dunia gue. Salah. Terlalu jauh mungkin, tapi ya harus gimana lagi.

Dia temen di sma gue. Ketemu pertama waktu mos. At first sight... interesting. Familiar. Gak lama setelah masuk sekolah gue di-re-meet sama dia lewat temen smp gue. Ga nyangka kalo akhirnya gue ada perasaan, yang mungkin gue gabakal tau kenapa bisa sampe kaya sekarang. Yang ga disangka sangka, seorang temen gue bilang.. dia suka sama gue, sejak mos. Perasaan yang sama yang gue alamin saat itu. Serasa vertigo. Mau meledak rasanya.

Tapi ya... kenyataannya gue masih berhubungan sama rey. Yang jelas gue sadar rasa gue ke rey udah mulai luntur, bahkan hilang, seiring dengan perubahannya. Saat itu gue bener bener ga mengerti, sedikitpun, apa yang terjadi. Keadaan jadi semakin sulit, setidaknya buat gue. Hubungan selama apapun kalo udah ga didasarin saling sayang, dan pengertian, ga akan pernah berhasil. Dan cuma itu yang gue dapet dari rey. Rasa sakit hati. Rasa gak diterima. Semuanya bercampur aduk jadi satu adonan, meracuni hati dan pikiran gue, menyiram otak gue dengan air dingin. Dan semua itu bikin gue tersadar. Apa yang gue lakuin selama ini, semuanya membingungkan. Bahkan buat dijelasin dengan kata kata saat ini.

Ga bisa dipungkiri lagi, bahkan oleh siapapun. Apa yang udah haryo lakuin ke gue sangat lebih dari cukup untuk nutupin semua luka yang rey buat. Semua feeling yang haryo punya tentang gue, gatau kenapa begitu kuat.

Sampai pada malem itu haryo berubah. Dingin. Beda dari biasanya. Dia mulai ngerasa, kalo gue cuma manfaatin dia, sebagai pelarian dari luka rey. Goddamned gue ngerasa lebih dari itu.gue mencoba lurusin semuanya. Everything’s gotta be okay. Dan malam itu gue mengatakan kalo gue sayang sama dia, gue peduli. Dan dia bilang... adadeh. Kenapa? Kepala gue ga bisa berhenti mikirin kata kata itu. Sakit. Rasa sakit itu juga yang guyur seluruh badan gue dengan air panas. Gue salah mempertahankan sesuatu yang jelas ga akan ada akhir bahagianya. Malam itu juga gue telfon rey, kasihtau semuanya, apa yang gue rasa. Dan dia ga terima, tanpa satu kata maafpun. Sakit. Kayak... ditusuk dengan 5 mata samurai yang berbeda dari seluruh arah, ditarik, ditusuk lagi satu satu. Jadi, selesailah semua urusan gue sama rey.

Besoknya, jam 5 sore. Hari senin 2 agustus 2010. Dia bilang, dia mau catet hari itu selamanya di sejarah hidupnnya. Jadi teman hidup gue saat itu, saat seneng, ataupun susah. Lebay.

Sampai saat ini.

Menurut gue, semua cobaan yang ada untuk sebuah hubungan berumur 2 minggu harusnya ga seperti apa yang gue dan haryo lewatin. Begitu sulit, kompleks, rumit, impossible. Pengen rasanya kadang gue hidup di limbo. Terasing dari kehidupan mimpi di dalam mimpi. Tapi seseorang bangunin gue. Ngajak gue untuk kembali berfikir nyata. Berfikir kalo gue masih punya dia, seseorang untuk gue perhatiin, untuk gue sayang, untuk gue peduliin.

Entah apa namanya ini, tapi semua maze dan labirin yang gue lewatin ini jelas lebih rumit daripada konsep insepsi. Labirin bertingkat."

and that's the way i love you.

Love,
-B.

cerita kilat #1

hai.
tadi siang saya didatangi amyra. lalu saya pergi ke rumahnya. mencoba bass baru milik adit, adeknya amyra. BARU LOH! mereknya epiphone. dan menemukan beberapa hot stuff seperti kacamata hadiah dari majalah Gogirl! dan topi matahari *setidaknya itu sebutan dari gue* gue pun terlihat seperti ini...

saya terlihat seperti tante tante kebelet gaul gabisa dapet berondong

lalu saya cabut ke XXI MM dan menonton...........

ini yang main si Tom Cruise sama Cameron Diaz. judule Knight and Day. perasaan gue setelah nonton ini............ capek. tegang terus. tapi keren. serius, walaupun kadang kurang dimengerti, tapi lama lama ngerti laaah.

lanjut. kita nonton filem ini dapet jam 5. penuh cekale di biozkop. sebelum itu kita makan di Croissant Cafe. oh! saya tidak bawa duit dan kartu atm. berbekal secengan dari tas saya, saya bisa bertahan hidup. meminum Coficino dan makan es potong berdua sama adel *so sweetnya kita*.

FYI, hape gue ketinggalan mampuslah gue dicariin keluarga gua dan pacar gue yang sangat aku sayangi muah muah.

ANYWAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FABULOUS FRIEND! thanks for "accidentally" invited me to your birthday party. TWICE! hope you'll better in your boarding school. You're doin great. and also with the super-fine-and-giga-delicious-chocolate-cake!

Love,
-B.

i am beautiful, no matter what you say

Dear listeners,
liat avatar gua. pp facebook gua. liat foto diatas. lo mikir gue cantik ga? ato manis? kayaknya gua cuma ge er doang. well, muka gue itu PALSU MEN. percaya ga??

ini adalah foto terakhir. diambil saat detik detik sebelum membuat posting ini dan menyadari saya jelek sekali.

gue lucu sekali

masih keliatan lucu ya gue. oke. gua kasih foto yang lain.

i am the ugly, i am the disease

gratis foto mukanakal

coba kalian bandingkan dengan ini :atau ini
WELL, that's the real me.

ENGGA DENG cuma lagi bad hair day dan pengen posting tapi gatau mau posting apa. Musibah ini terjadi dengan dilatarbelakangi kemalasan gue untuk sisiran setelah keramas. That's it.

Love,
-B.

COMEBACK!

Hey Listeners,
This is my first comeback after so long. and with my new layout. Thanks for blogger! Your settings is pretty cool right now:) i love you.

....and i want this:

This is Bianca! by Diana Rikasari

Keep loving Martin!
-B

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to you
We know the key to unify all people
Is in the dream that you had so long ago
That lives in all of the hearts of people
That believe in unity
We'll make the dream become a reality
I know we will
Because our hearts tell us so
STEVIE WONDER - HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Happy birthday you all guys :)

Rana Tamara (Feb 2)
Safira Ramadhani (Feb 4)
Lidya Fanny (Feb 6)
Sani Hadiyan (Feb 7)
Adelia Sharfina (Feb 12)
Defi Arfita (Feb 18)
Thirza Diah (Feb 19)
Arvel's Mom, Mrs. Ayu Titin (Feb 22)
Rana Ramadary (Feb 24)
Ferbian Budi (Feb 27)
Ms. Aiyah Noer Mualam (Feb 28)

God bless you all :) Liberate yourself on your special day

keeplovingMartin!
Aya♥

Eye-Washed Results

Heyya !

I keep on posting tonight because maybe there's no time again. Tomorrow i will have exam called "Try Out DKI" till 28 January, and have a photosession for my BT U.U too busy. And those schedule doesn't include my band's schedule. Yeah, i keep on moving with my new band called Red Velvet, or maybe with POWER RANGER ??

Well, for my photosession i still have no idea about what should i wear !
I asked my friends to go with me to Pasar Senen this weekend but surely THEY LEAVE ME !! so, i gotta go to kelapa gading at Monday ! (wow-wow-wow. and thanks god my bf support me !

I browsed on my mom's facebook and fallin in love with this:

by DressHouse

by: DressHouseby: DressHouseby: DressHouse

AAAA and my mother told me that she gonna buy me 'em YEAH ! And i take this from Diana Rikasari's

by Picnic
I WANT THE 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and the 5th ah godbless you shoes :)

keeplovingMartin!
Aya♥

Dream On

"Half my life is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laugh, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until the dream comes true"
Aerosmith - Dream On

And i met those two boys on my way back home from school. They taught me something about dreams. And how the hard life really is.

A: Kak, kenapa langit selalu mendung belakangan ini?
B: Haha, bagus dong kita bisa main layangan tiap hari sambil ujan-ujanan pula
A: Iya, tapi aku jadi penasaran kak dibalik awan ada apa ya?
B: Kakak ga tau, kita harus naik roket
A: Mahal ga sih kak untuk naik roket?
B: Ya jelas mahal, bahkan kakak itu aja mungkin gabisa, apalagi kita (nunjuk ke gue)
A: Coba kita masih sekolah ya kak
B: Kenapa?
A: Kalo kita pinter, kita pasti bisa naik pesawat roket
B: Bodoh, udah jangan banyak mimpi, kita udah susah dek, bersyukur kita masih bisa hidup sekarang

You know, that little chitchat comes from 2 unknown boys. But they really show me how lucky i am right now. And i learn some new lesson from it. That all we have is here and now, so dreaming and do something to reach your dream, because we are luckier than them, who only can dreams and do nothing. Money still matters for them. Life started from dreams. So dream on.

keeplovingMartin!
Aya♥